


from Seoul; to Chicago

by orphan_account



Series: the way back [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Absent Parents, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming of Age, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Minor Character Death, Moving homes, getting used to new location, hyuck and ten will show up down the road more, ill add tags as i go, johnnys aunt takes him in, true to age
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2019-10-13 13:06:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17488577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Johnny moving to Chicago wasn’t the original plan. Of course, he planned to never have to move from the familiarity that Seoul brought him, but that’s the thing with plans: they’re hard to abide by.If he had it his way, he never would’ve left. He never would’ve left Minhyung alone with that man, he’d have been able to see his brother grow up, would’ve continued school there, maybe gone into a more preferred profession.But life didn’t work that way. At least, not for Johnny.





	1. jns

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to my first series and first chaptered fic! Everything will explain itself throughout, but this first story has to do particularly with Johnny and his life before 2019, au-wise. There will be mentions of homophobia and small triggers may arise throughout the story. 
> 
> I would like to give thanks to my lovely beta @yoonmin_is_real and my lovely @raventiques who both helped make this a possibility. <3
> 
> Enjoy :)

“Welcome to Chicago!” reads just about every sign in the airport. It’s that, or “Welcome to Illinois!” or something equally foreign and yet still familiar that greets Johnny when he steps off the plane. He has his carry on and a small backpack filled with his passport, official papers, and whatever his father hadn’t claimed back from him.

The disposable phone in his pocket chimes. Johnny fishes for the small device, so different from what he had back home, and checks the incoming message from the number he had memorized.

\- **10/15/14 11.36 AM**

_Hey kiddo. Text me when u get off the_

_plane, I am here_

Johnny feels the bubble in his chest deflate steadily. He knows in the back of his mind another person won’t leave him, especially not his aunt, but there’s still a sinking anxiety that it would happen all over again and he’d be left on his own. Nothing scared him more than that.

Another chime cut through his wandering thoughts, pulling him back to where the same number has sent him another message.

**\- 10/15/14 12.37 PM**

_Youngho? Are u ok? Please text me_

Moving over to the side of the ramp, away from the herd of people trying to shuffle out of the airport, Johnny shoulders his bag a little tighter. He opens up the messaging app on the phone and types up a small reply.

**10/15/14 12.39 PM -**

_i’m here, just got out of customs now i_

_gotta get my bag. meet u at claim?_

A chime comes in mere seconds later, the thought of his aunt holding her phone in a tight fist and biting a hangnail much like he’d seen his mother do making him crack the slightest smile.

**\- 10/15/14 12.40 PM**

_Shit, forgot about customs. U had me_

_worried kid! I will meet u there now_

Pocketing the phone, the smile slips off of Johnny’s face. He moves back into the dwindling path and sets forward. Arrows point him this way and that, all moving to where, surely, people will be standing around the monochrome machine pushing luggage in circles.

Finally finding the designated area, he stands closer to the huddle of people all looking for their own bags. He watches the bags move slowly, none of them his own, until the beat up, faded blue color of his bag meets his eye.

“Excuse me,” he says quietly. The group before him easily parts and he grabs his bag, the very last tie he has to a place he called home. Pulling it up into his arms, he steps back out of the swarm.

He stood away from the hounds of people with his few belongings in his arms. He looked over the influx of faces walking around inside the airport and outside the massive glass panels, only looking for one familiar face. From behind him, suddenly, there was a small tap to his elbow. He turned quickly, already on edge in the city he knew close to nothing about, only to be met with kind, familiar eyes.

“고모(gomo),” Johnny breathes with a sigh of relief. He feels his shoulders fall a bit more lax at the sudden calm that comes over him in the face of his lifesaver.

Her name is Choi Haewon. Johnny hasn’t seen her since the funeral, but he knows she hasn’t changed much in the past six years. She still wears thin but circular, wire framed glasses and shoes with platforms a touch too big. He does notice her hair is cut shorter now, sitting jet black and just below her four time pierced ears.

What Johnny likes most about his aunt is how young she seems. She’s not like his father; doesn’t dress older and act older, without ever smiling for some fear of weakness. She’s in her late twenties and full of life with a smile that crinkles every part of her face. She doesn’t take things too seriously, always kind hearted and generous.

He’s just beginning to notice the pretty dress she has on when a sudden smack lands on his upper arm.

“ _Ya!_ ” she says like any Korean aunt might. The thought makes Johnny chuckle. “Are you gonna say hi to your dear aunt or stare at me all day?” she says with no real heat. He knows her nagging is all in good spirit.

Putting down the blue suitcase, Johnny engulfs the decently smaller woman in a hug. They wrap tightly around each other in an embrace that lets out every unspoken emotion, brings out every unsettled space. She rubs his back soothingly and she’s warm and she’s so much like a mom, like his mom, that Johnny can only hold tight.

After a few more seconds, Haewon pulls back with a large smile. Her hands are on both of Johnny’s biceps making sure to hold him just an arm’s reach away as she looks over him.

“Seems I can’t call you ‘kiddo’ anymore. You’re massive, Youngho!” she says with a small chuckle. She only reaches his chest in height and though not muscular, he still fills out his arms and legs decently. His aunt has always been very small with a slim figure and thin features, unlike him who’s always had a decent touch of fat to him. “Man, you’ve grown so much. You look so much like your mother,” Haewon says. A gentle smile pulls at her rose tinted lips. Even if she smiles, Johnny knows it hurts her to see and think of.

Before Johnny can think of something else to say, Haewon straightens up. “Did you get your bags, then? C’mon, I wanna get you home!” Her excitement is normally contagious and so very appreciated but the words pull at Johnny’s heart. His chest aches.

Grabbing the blue bag that has sat idly beside him, he shrugs one shoulder. Without meeting her eyes, finding a chip in the linoleum beneath him more interesting, he says, “This is it.” This, referring to the backpack with spare socks and boxers, the duffel bag of the books he’s bought himself and notebooks he’s filled up with secrets, and the blue suitcase filled with what few jeans and shirts he could find that belonged to him.

Johnny misses it with the way he doesn’t look up, but Haewon’s eyebrow twitches in question. She knocks her index finger beneath Johnny’s chin to grab his attention. Johnny looks at her now with wide eyes beginning to blur and burn.

“Hey,” Haewon says gently, “this can’t be it. W-Why so little?”

There’s so much commotion all around them, people moving in every direction and different voices all speaking at once. A small girl yelps with glee, an older man talks deeply into his telephone, and a woman hugs her daughter tight to her chest with wet chuckles leaving her mouth. In the center of it all, Johnny feels a tightening in his chest. The air begins to feel thin, the fluorescent lights above him making him feel faint.

Johnny doesn’t want to discuss the topic here, not under the overwhelmed state of his senses, and he tells Haewon as much.

She grabs the blue bag from his arms and uses her free hand to wrap around his arm. She makes sure their arms are comfortably looped before beginning the move to the exit. “It’s alright, Youngho. Just breathe, we’ll be out of here in no time.”

When they step out, the fresh breeze of autumn brushes against what skin they have exposed. Johnny feels it on the high of his cheeks and the tips of his fingers that poke out from beneath the sleeve of his jacket. It’s cloudy in Chicago, not a ray of golden sunlight to warm him in the slightest. He doesn’t mind it, not like Seoul is much different, but he still holds tighter to Haewon in her long dress that swishes at her ankles like a blanket.

“Giraffe, if you can spot lot D up there, we’ll get to the car faster,” Haewon says. It’s obviously a scheme to lighten the mood and it works. Johnny huffs through an eye roll that settles into a small smile. He does as he’s told and keeps a cautious eye out for the letter. When he spots it, he turns Haewon and points them in the direction of the car. “You’re useful, kiddo, now let’s get out of this cold.”

Haewon and Johnny move across the parking lot until they get to a comfortable, red economy car. Johnny laughs at the color of it, how bright and polished it looks in the gloom of the day, and he feels warmth in his chest. The trunk pops open when they’re close enough so Haewon throws the lone bag into the trunk. It’s a testament to how light it really is. With a push to secure it in and a hand pushing down the lid, Haewon gets everything packed away. She turns to Johnny, who still stands beside him, and gives him an incredulous look.

“Oh, Youngho,” she mumbles. She moves to him delicately before bringing him into another warm hug. He sinks into her chest. She smells like just laundered sheets and gardenias. “You’ve got to get more comfortable with me, honey. I’m going to take care of you. You don’t need to be so guarded, never with me. Okay?”

Johnny, who hasn’t heard a single kind word or felt the warmth of familiarity for weeks on end, breaks into tears. He shakes with each sniffle in, desperate to hold back something, but he can’t possibly in front of Haewon. She cradles the back of his head and lets him bury into the space of her neck covered by a turtle neckline.

They stand out in the lot like that, Johnny desperately holding onto the stability Haewon offers, until his tears subside and she has begun to whisper sweet words into his ear. He feels that his aunt is just about to pull away but before she can, he tightens his hold.

“Haewon,” he whispers in broken syllables, “please call me Johnny.” He knows it’s not much, knows that even in Seoul, sometimes a close friend would utter his American name, but he wants to be rid of it all. He isn’t Youngho anymore, doesn’t think he ever was.

Haewon pulls away one more time. Her hands cup his face making their eyes meet. With all the sincerity she can muster, she says, “Johnny it is then.” He thinks this is the start of something better.

**

**Seo Youngho - 10/13/14 10.32 PM**

_hi haewon. it’s youngho. i’m not_

_sure if you remember_ _me but i need help_

 

**Choi Haewon - 10/13/14 10.46 PM**

_Of course I remember u honey! What’s_

_the matter?_

 

**Seo Youngho - 10/13/14 10.48 PM**

_do you still live in chicago?_

 

**Choi Haewon - 10/13/14 10.49 PM**

_Yes_

_Why?_

 

**Seo Youngho - 10/13/14 10.52 PM**

_i need a place to stay_

 

**Choi Haewon - 10/13/14 10.53 PM**

_What happened? Is your dad ok?_

_Are u and Minhyung ok?_

 

**Seo Youngho - 10/13/14 10.54 PM**

_they’re okay_

_i’m not_

 

**Choi Haewon - 10/13/14 10.56 PM**

_Youngho you’re scaring me_

_Tell me what’s going on_

 

**Seo Youngho - 10/13/14 11.02 PM**

_i’m gay_

 

_**_

Haewon knows what’s got him so on edge. Johnny knows that she texted him through a crisis and paid all expenses to get him to the foreign country after his confession. Johnny also knows he’s beyond grateful for her not bringing it up without his ready.

Twiddling with the red and blue keychain on his backpack, one Minhyung bought him on a school trip to Jeju, Johnny breathes deeply.

“I-I don't have a lot of things.” He looks at the stores passing by and feels nerves creep up in his chest. He knows he could do with some new clothes, some that he didn’t buy on a whim years ago that only barely manage to fit properly. “He took back anything he paid for. Only let me take what was really mine.”

For a minute, the only sounds in the car are the radio and the rub of the tires under them. Then, Haewon reaches forward and turns off the radio, plunging the car into still silence. Her hands are white knuckled on the steering wheel and though he can’t see head on, he knows her eyes are widened. “H-He did that to you?” There’s a tremble in her voice. He doesn’t think he really needs to answer.

He can’t help it when the memories begin to intrude instead. He remembered his father as red in the face, nothing but disgust in his eyes accompanying a firm hold on his upper arm. It was so stupid, so careless, for him to kiss Kwangsu on the front step of his house like that.

His father had the decency to wait for Kwangsu to leave but as soon as Johnny entered his own house, it was over for him. Minhyung was crying in his room, timid and only 8 years old watching his dear brother hurriedly pack his things.

Johnny would never forget that night. He would never forget the feeling of being pushed out of his home with nothing but a slur, old belongings, and spit on his cheek.

A hand lands on his wrist and Johnny can’t help the way he pulls his arm back. He knows this is only Haewon and she would never hurt him, but this deep in his own head, there’s no telling what’s up or down.

Just as quickly as she had moved forward, her hand moves backward seeing Johnny’s reaction. He’s back in his own head now, but the deed’s already been done. He’s taken down a piece of the wall for Haewon all while putting up another.

The car continues moving in silence, more stores and buildings flashing past his window. It’s only when Haewon asks, “Are you tired at all?” that the stillness is broken.

It’s an odd question, especially for the topic, but Johnny only shakes his head.

They roll up to the next light and Haewon makes a sudden turn, pulling them up to a beige building with neon fixtures spelling out the name of a shop he’d never seen in Seoul. She finds a spot and parks before shutting off the car and sitting back.

Her chest pumps outward and then back in in harsh breaths that burn Johnny just to see. Her lips are pulled into a taut line, the slightest pull on the ends dragging her features into a sort of frown. She’s normally smiling, has been jovial the entire hour that they’ve been reunited, and now he’s reduced her infectious charm to deep lines and painstaking breaths.

Johnny can only watch as her mouth opens and then closes. She does it one more time, lifting one hand up to touch her temple. Before he can say something else, maybe apologize for causing someone else any pain, she sits forward. “What he did to you is unacceptable and no child- no person should ever have to face that. I will never put you in harm’s way, Johnny. I promise you that much.” Haewon reaches forward once more, but this time, Johnny allows the touch. He takes her hand in his. Her fingers wrap around his hand warmly, a gracious warmth moving through his chest.

“I know I’m being unbearably sappy today, but I need you to know that I love you very much and I always will. I’m not very good at this whole thing, but I’m going to try, okay?” Her eyes are earnest and open, not a shred of sadness or regret laced in them. All Johnny can see and feel is her warmth and undoubted love.

Johnny nods at her and says, “Okay,” in his own tiny whisper.

Just like that, their bubble of tension pops. One of her hands goes to run through the black wave that is her hair. “O-kay! I think that’s all the sap I can muster for one day! How about you and I run in here and pick out some stuff, yeah? Maybe some clothes, some groceries? Things for the house.”

And really, though he may complain on the outside, he thinks he values his life too much to decline the piercing arch of his aunt’s eyebrow and a simple shopping trip.

_**_

**Choi Haewon - 10/14/14 8.26 PM**

_I sent u the flight info. Be there an_

_hour before the boarding time._

 

**Seo Youngho - 10/14/14 8.28 PM**

_i can’t thank you enough for this Haewon_

 

**Choi Haewon - 10/14/14 8.29 PM**

_U don’t need to thank me just make_

_sure you’re on that flight and u get_

_here safe_

 

**Seo Youngho - 10/14/14 8.30 PM**

_i wouldn’t miss it_

_i’ll see you in a few hours_

_**_

The shopping trip lasts all of an hour and a half, a grueling hour and a half where each second, Johnny feels as though his feet will stiffen and fall off. By the end of the trip, his arms are full of clothing he doesn’t think he needs, a few shirts and a few jeans would suffice, but Haewon had insisted on buying him what felt like a whole new wardrobe, much to his despair. “I have a bit of money left over from one of my gigs last month and I need you to be comfortable at home,” she said in the face of the ticking total. “Don’t argue with me, Johnny. Let me dote on my lovely nephew.” Haewon doesn’t look to him when she says it, merely smiles at the woman behind the register as she hands over her card.

After they pay and give their quick thanks, Johnny and Haewon walk out with bags full of groceries and clothing. Before they went shopping, Johnny could push back the little traces of sleep wearing him down. His feet weren’t sore and achy and everything was alright. Now, though, Johnny doesn’t think he’s ever wanted to see a bed more.

His fatigue must show on his face because after they load up the trunk and move to the front seats, Haewon takes one glance at him before chuckling gently. “The drive home from here isn’t so long, don’t worry. We’ll get you some sleep in no time.” Johnny doesn’t think he’s heard better words strung together.

Their silence settles again, but neither of them mind it, Johnny’s forehead against the cool glass of the passenger window. He feels himself beginning to drift off with puffs of steam fogging the window in front of his nose. He’s just about to fall completely when he feels the once sturdy movement from the car stop.

A hand lovingly touches his shoulder. “Johnny,” Haewon says, “we’re home.”

Consciousness comes back slowly to Johnny, the now decent sunlight pouring in through the glass. He settles up further in his seat before he leans against the dash. In front of him, an ivory building stands stockily. The apartment only goes up three floors, shown by the columns of evenly spaced windows. Between the glass and the cement, deep green vines drape the roof of the apartments before making their way down, swirling in natural patterns and turns in contrast to the building. There is a makeshift garden in the dirt in front of the home and it fills Johnny with a sense of calmness.

He’s sure he’s been staring for a long while because when he comes back to, Haewon is standing beside his now open door. “Well,” she motions over the house with her left hand, “what do you think?”

What does he think? What does Johnny think about finally having a place that looks and feel like the home of his dreams?

“I-I love it, Haewon, thank you.”

Haewon smiles. “Welcome home, Johnny.”

Johnny shuffles out of the car. Bags drown the view of Haewon’s feet where she’s gotten everything out of the trunk. Johnny grabs some of the bags, Haewon taking the other few, before they move to the caged glass door. Beside the door, there are only plaques with names and one small, faded pink button directly underneath each. Johnny notes that there is no front desk, no door-holders or bellhops, but he likes this better; likes the way that Haewon has to fumble in her bag for her lanyard of keys. She gets the key into the lock and turns it, but nothing budges.

“Damn door,” she mutters lowly. Johnny watches the way that she smashes her side into the door once and then a second time before it finally pushes inward. “It gets stuck sometimes, so you have to shove it a bit.” Haewon takes her key from the door and moves in.

The interior of the apartment isn’t much, at least, not on the first floor. The walls are gray and entirely bare, covering a thin hall that leads straight to a staircase. “We live in 2C so that’s the second floor, room C. I know, super difficult to comprehend, but you’ll get it,” Haewon explains jokingly. Johnny chuckles lowly.

The second floor of the apartment is much more inviting, obviously decorated by the residents. The marble tiles remain the same, but the walls are filled with different decorations. Warm bulbs line the ceiling and cascade the hall in brilliant lights. There are decorative frames and works of art ranging from realistic landscapes to surrealist pieces all along the walls leading straight back to the single window. Johnny even sees some photographs, sees Haewon in one of them and people he doesn’t recognize in others.

“The landlord lets us do what we want just as long as nothing gets broken or ruined. So we’ve kind of taken the liberty to decorate, ya know, make it a bit more lively,” Haewon explains. She watches the way Johnny looks over each of the pieces and leads them to the door with a 2C carved into it. Haewon soon comes up behind him, looking over her lanyard for the right key.

Just as she’s about to open it, there’s a sudden sound of a door behind them. “Oh, hey, Katie!” Johnny isn’t going to turn to look, doesn’t think he’s awake and comfortable enough to look in on his new neighbors’ business, but Haewon seems intent to. Maybe even happy to.

Haewon turns around with a wide smile on her face, Johnny following suit soon after. Across the way from them, a small man with one earphone dangling down his chest stands. He has a tank top cut down his sides, one arm slipped into a jacket, and a duffel bag hanging from the same side. His clothing looks like he’s just woken up, unruly and disastrous, but there is no sign of that in his face. His eyes are sharp around the edges but soft in the middle much like the shape of his lips. There’s a precious smile etched onto them that only brightens when Haewon says, “Hi, Ten! How are you?”

_Ten,_ Johnny thinks. _Weird._

Ten moves to shut his door, but he never turns his back on his neighbors. “I’m good, just running late for a dance meet. Kun is going to murder me,” Ten says gently. His voice is a bit high, the sound nasally and foreign, but Johnny doesn’t hate it. He likes how distinct it is, actually. Suddenly, the man turns to him. “And who is this?”

Haewon reacts as if sudden shock comes over her. She turns to Johnny and then back around to Ten. She grabs the taller man’s arm, pulling him forward. “Oh, I totally forgot! Johnny, this is Ten, our neighbor. Ten, this is Johnny, my nephew from Korea. He’s moving in with me today,” Haewon smiles. Ten’s eyes widen a bit.

“Oh, wow!” he exclaims. “That’s so cool, uh, does he speak English?” Johnny is taken aback by the question when he registers that he hasn’t said a single thing since Ten has stepped out into the hall.

Johnny sticks out a hand in greeting. “Sorry, yeah, I speak English.” Johnny’s voice sounds foreign to himself, so quiet and small he’s barely sure Ten has heard.

Ten seems to have heard him though, if the genuine laugh that bubbles from his chest means anything. His hand meets Johnny’s big one in a gentle grasp, a simple once up handshake, before pulled back. He looks like he’s just about to say something, mouth opening a bit, until the sound of a phone ringing disrupts him. His eyes move down to the phone in his hand, a range of emotions coming over his face that all settle when he declines the call. “I really wish I could stay and chat, but Kun really will kill me if I’m late again,” Ten says while shoving his other arm into the free sleeve. “We should talk more sometime, John. It’s lovely to have you!” Ten locks up his door.

The smaller man turns to them both one last time before leaning forward to press a kiss to Haewon’s cheek. “Bye Katie, bye Johnny!” And then he’s gone, his arms now situated in his jacket properly and both earphones in.

The pair watch him disappear down the one staircase before Haewon turns back around. “Ten’s a real character. Normally he’s a bit more laidback, but he’s really nice. I think he’s around your age so you two should get along great,” Haewon speaks but Johnny is barely listening, only thinking that he’d like to get to know Ten. “-get keys made tomorrow and the move-in will be made totally official!” Haewon says happily as she pushes the now unlocked door inward. Johnny steps inside right behind her, taking in the space.

The apartment is the perfect balance between messy and clean, some commotion on the counters but not a single dish in the sink, and the layout screams Haewon. An easel sits in the corner half-finished, stacks of canvases against each wall. Some canvases are up on the walls themselves, designs similar to the ones in the hall, and contrasting against the cream white and peach sofa offset by the deep teak wood of the tables. It’s very homey and Johnny loves that part of it.

Haewon drops the bags that have been weighing her hands on the couch, Johnny doing the same. He feels too weak to put anything away, the prospect of sleep when it’s so close taking over his thoughts. Just like in the car, Haewon seems to notice the way his eyelids barely stay up. With a chuckle, she loops their arms closely again. “C’mon, let me show you your room so you can settle in and get some sleep.”

His room has a more simple layout, clearly being used as a storage closet with the way shelves of paint and paint supplies line the wall opposite the bed. He doesn’t care about that aspect though, not when he really only cares about the plush looking mattress calling his name.

Johnny shuffles forward to sit on the edge of the bed. Just as he suspected, the mattress is soft and the comforter is thick underneath him, perfect for those cold nights he remembers from his time in Chicago. He’s about to make a comment, something about helping Haewon unpack and make dinner and do his guest duties, but Haewon stops him with a warm hand on his cheek.

“Sleep, now. You need to recharge. We can figure it all out when you wake up,” she says. Her thumb brushes tenderly against the dimpled part of his cheek. Johnny’s eyes close in content but he feels her move closer to him, a lingering kiss touching his forehead. “Sleep tight, Johnny. I love you.”

After she leaves and Johnny has only managed to kick off his shoes, he plops backward onto the pillows. He doesn’t need to count sheep or count down from 500, he only thinks about how this is the softest bed he’s ever laid on before sleep overtakes him.


	2. jns

Chicago and Seoul are pretty similar, Johnny finds out rather quickly. The city element Johnny so loves is still there, the sounds of the bustling city heavy even in the night. There is never a moment of entire silence or entire darkness in Chicago, never a moment where Johnny has to think too hard about everything going on around him.

He’s been in Chicago for all of three weeks now but the view from his room still seems to change day in and day out. The buildings cast shadows across his room and lights break the monotony of night. In the time since moving in, the sun has illuminated every new addition to his room ranging from himself, to the bookshelf slowly being stocked up, to the plushies that occupy more and more space each day. 

When he first moved in, and for the first two days, Johnny thought living with Haewon would be awkward. He hadn’t lived with a woman in so long and was entirely unused to the ways women lived. On top of that, it wasn’t even like Haewon was someone he knew super well. Sure she was his aunt and while they were at one time close when they all lived in Chicago, that was a very long time ago. There was so much about her he didn’t know and, likewise, so much about Johnny Haewon didn’t know. 

He found out soon enough that that wasn’t the case, however. Haewon was chill and open about everything. Everything that happened to her was either announced unprompted or was gently admitted while they ate dinner together. She let him into any part of the house and supported him as much as she could between getting used to a new mouth to feed, balancing her art and work, and figuring out how to live with another person. They felt more like roommates than anything else and Johnny liked that.

So for three weeks into October after the day he arrived, he and Haewon worked in tandem with each other, but still at a slight distance. Johnny slowly made his room up how he wanted and Haewon moved her art supplies out slowly but surely. He started figuring out how everything worked in the house, which nozzles to turn to get the shower running perfectly, how to position his stuffed animals so they all fit on his bed. Eventually, the living room became their safe haven, a place of comfort and lowered walls. They could sit out there and talk or watch tv or eat dinner or do whatever they wanted. They were becoming comfortable, settling in like a true family, and Johnny was so grateful. 

He was grateful for the family aspect until Haewon started recognizing that they were not, in fact, “roommates”. 

“Johnny, I know I seem like an honorary mom to you, but you can’t keep clinging to me like a toddler,” Haewon says softly. She’s probably watched Johnny walk down the halls aimlessly about five times in the past week, trying to distract himself with anything.   _ Haewon would make a lovely mother _ , Johnny thinks, but he is not appreciative of the offhand comment. He isn’t a toddler, thank you very much. He knows how to act and be grown up, he just doesn’t know how to do that in Chicago. 

And Johnny knows what it must feel like for Haewon. He sits around on the couch eating her food and taking her money, only really going out to check the mail or to walk for food when Haewon isn’t home. 

With a groan, Johnny picks his feet up to stuff under the blanket with him. They’re settled in the living room with some shitty sitcom playing in the background and their laps warmed with instant ramen. “Why not?” Johnny whines like an actual toddler, “I mean, what can I even do yet? I don’t have anything around here.”  

Haewon manages to stuff a chopstick full of noodles into her mouth while she rolls her eyes in annoyance. Johnny watches her chew at her food until it’s all gone and she turns to look at him sternly. “You can get a job or find somebody to hang out with. Have you done any sightseeing?” she asks curiously. 

_ I can see a lot from my window,  _ Johnny thinks, but he knows that that won’t cut it with his aunt. As if reading his mind - or his silence - Haewon sighs. “I know I’m not around enough for us to do stuff, but you can’t stay cooped up in here. Get a dating app, go outside, walk past the takeout place next door, I don’t know! Just get out there, Johnny. Explore something, find something here that will make it a little bit easier for you to handle.” 

The air between them goes a bit silent. Johnny isn’t nearly as open as Haewon is, but at times like this, it doesn’t feel like he has to be. He has been feeling a small bit homesick, missing the cat cafe he once loved and missing the way that everything felt safe and accessible in his city. In Chicago, Johnny is a stranger. Where Seoul was a close friend to him, Chicago is a cruel enemy willing to do its worst. Johnny doesn’t think he can handle much else. 

A hand touches his knee through the blanket and he looks up to meet Haewon’s eyes. They don’t read sadly and there is not a trace of pity but instead they’re warm and comforting. “Let’s get on some horror movies, yeah?” And Johnny likes that idea much more than continuing any of the conversations lingering in the air. As they sit back and Haewon presses play, Johnny feels content. 

**

It’s on a cozy Sunday that Johnny wakes up a touch later than usual. Just one week into November and the season creeps over the city like a fog, dressing every passerby in deep chills. Even inside their apartment, the windows and doors seem to do nothing to keep out any of the offending cold. 

In his bed, Johnny pulls his head out from under where he’s swaddled in two very thick blankets. From his position, he can see the city through his window including some buildings taller than theirs and the frothy clouds up above. He can’t see all that well, not from how far back he is, but he can still note how the season changes the atmosphere.

Hearing the telltale sound of clanking in the kitchen and Haewon’s “chill” playlist ringing in the air, Johnny throws the blanket off of his body. Cold immediately invades his body and he hurriedly reaches for his sleep pants just on the floor beside him. He gets the material to cover his freezing calves and thighs before pressing his bare toes into the carpet beneath his bed. It protects his feet from getting too cold and helps him to get to his house slippers that are lined with wool. 

Moving out of his room, Johnny yawns sleepily. Each morning, the house becomes more and more familiar and this morning is no different as Johnny walks down the long hallway towards the kitchen. His slippers scuff against the hardwood lazily and another yawn pulls out of his chest. 

Stepping foot into the kitchen, Johnny sees Haewon exactly where he expected her. She’s standing at the stove with the handle of a frying pan held tightly in one hand. He’s met with the smell of bacon and coffee and hears what might be Coldplay playing from the television making everything feel just that touch safer. 

Having heard his scuffling from a mile away, Haewon doesn’t even need to turn to her nephew when she says, “Good morning, Johnny.” She continues to fiddle with the contents of the pot. 

Johnny takes a seat on one of the two stools at the bar before resting his head on his crossed arms. A yawn forces itself out before he says, “Morning, Haewon. What are you making?” Beside him, he picks the idle pen off of the counter and twists it in his grip. 

“Oh! I woke up a bit early today so I was thinking a full American slam. Bacon, pancakes, eggs, toast, and coffee. How does that sound?” Haewon asks sweetly without turning her back, her attention fully on the bacon sizzling in the skillet. 

As if on cue, Johnny’s stomach rumbles deeply and he feels a flush fall on his face. “That sounds really good.” 

It doesn’t take much longer for Haewon to be done with everything and Johnny is immensely grateful for that. They never really make use of the kitchen counter but this morning, the two of them clear out whatever junk covers the area and settle in for breakfast. Johnny quickly gets silverware and cups and plates in order while Haewon takes on the last bit of bacon. The two tango around each other in the comfort of their kitchen before finally, everything is set up. 

It feels like a feast, a very American, very suburban breakfast feast, but Johnny still adores it to no end. The smells rush to him and another sound erupts from his stomach, breaking what scenery had been set. Beside him, Haewon giggles and begins to plate herself some food. “Well don’t let yourself starve,” she says jokingly, “I made more than enough.” 

Just like that, the two of them settle comfortably into their morning. They’re silent while they eat only letting the occasional clink of silverware and plates sound besides their chewing. 

When Johnny goes to pour himself a second glass of orange juice,  Haewon speaks up. “So I was thinking,” she says after wiping her face off with a napkin, “since I have a free day finally, we could go out and hang out. Like, we can go sightseeing and all that, yeah?” 

Johnny pours himself some juice and then pours some more for Haewon. “Yeah, that sounds awesome. Where were you thinking?”

Haewon hums around the food in her mouth before swallowing. “Oh, just like walking around and showing you the stops and stuff. There’s a lovely Korean bakery a few blocks away, I thought you’d like to see that.” Even though they aren’t even done with their breakfast, Johnny nods enthusiastically. He’s beginning to miss Korea more than he’d like to let on so he thinks feasting on some familiar treats and sharing that with Haewon will be a good time. 

Breakfast is quickly wrapped up after that and by then, it’s almost 12 in the afternoon. It’s the perfect time and the perfect day and Johnny is actually excited. The two of them clean up the remnants of their breakfast quickly before they each separate to start getting dressed.

The day is cold so Johnny throws a white tee shirt on that he can put a sweater over to keep warm. Just as he’s pulling on the sweater, however, Haewon’s phone rings down the hall. “I got it!” she yells loudly, making Johnny chuckle. 

He can’t make out just what he conversation is about, but Johnny can make out her end of the call and the way that her words come with a touch of disappointment in their tone. 

“Okay - Yes, that’s fine - Yes, I’ll be there within the hour.” Haewon quickly hangs up the call and sighs immediately after. Johnny moves closer to her to see what the matter is when she groans loudly. 

Standing just behind her, Johnny crosses his arms in question. “What’s wrong, Haewon?” His aunt turns to him with her fast crestfallen and a bit annoyed. 

Moving forward, she plants one soft kiss on Johnny’s forehead. “I have to run to the office last minute, Natasha called off so I have to fill in,” she says through a sigh, “It’ll be a few hours, but you can manage, right 어린이 (eolini)?” Haewon says snarkily. Johnny normally loves her gentle kisses and the way they make him feel loved, but attached to the title, he can’t help but spring up. 

“Yah! I’m not a child!” he whines - much like a child. Haewon laughs gently, her eyes soft and deeply loving. With one hand still cupping his cheek, she forces them to meet.

“I’m sorry about not being able to do all those plans. I really wanted to get you out of the house, but I promise we’ll do them another day,” she says apologetically. 

Johnny, already shaking his head at her halfway through her apology, just hugs her tightly. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll take a rain-” he pauses, thinking between the words, “-a rain day? No, uh-”

“Rain check, Johnny-”

“Rain check, yeah! We’ll take a rain check and schedule for another day, okay?” Johnny doesn’t bother letting Haewon be sympathetic and sad and instead, his enthusiasm makes her chuckle. She presses one more soft kiss on his cheek before getting up. 

Before she turns to the door, Haewon presses her hand once more to Johnny’s shoulder. “Are you sure you’ll be alright?” 

Shrugging her off, Johnny scoffs gently. “Yes, 고모(gomo), everything’s alright. It’s just a few hours I can find something to do.” Haewon levels him with one last curious look before she smiles and stands straight. 

Clipping her hair back, she presses one more kiss to his forehead. She grabs her bag and begins her trek to the door. “Okay I have to go now. I love you, Johnny!” she yells over her shoulder one last time.

“I love you, too,” Johnny just barely yells back before the door is shut behind her. Shaking his head, he leans back on the couch. He stares up at the ceiling as if it’ll find him something interesting to occupy his mind. When he remains sitting for five minutes and nothing changes, he groans and stands instead.

He’s still full from the hearty breakfast they had, so the kitchen isn’t exactly enticing at the moment. He walks down the long hall to see if there’s anything to do, anything to occupy his mind a little. He walks past the bathroom and notices from the corner of his eye that the hamper by the door looks on the full side.

Deciding he can be useful for once, Johnny gets the dirty laundry hamper. It’s notably fuller than he thought and he figures he can do the laundry for once as a peace omen, something to tell Haewon that he is not a child and is, in fact, starting to build himself up. 

It’s a Sunday evening, the air in the apartment colder than usual. The sky outside reflects the small chill that fills the space all around him, the gray overlooking the city settling the world into a close silence. It’s not the most ideal and it makes a part of Johnny itch to do  _ something _ so he’s not paying attention to how gloomy the day is. 

Moving back into his room, Johnny grabs one of the sweaters slung over his desk chair. It’s his thicker brown one covered in the softest material that came lived in and warm from Haewon’s favorite thrift shop. He pulls the material over his head until it falls just past the hem of his sweatpants. Comfort, Johnny finds, matters a lot more than style when he’s doing chores. 

Johnny makes sure to drop his phone - a new iPhone paid for by Haewon as she opened her plan up to him, much to his protesting - and his keys onto the top of the hamper before he leaves their complex. Locking up behind him, Johnny makes sure the door is secured before walking down the staircase to the in-complex laundromat. 

No other tenants are out, probably all out at work or staying in sheltered from the cold gloom, but Johnny doesn’t mind. He doesn’t really know any of his neighbors yet except for Ten and Mrs. Blythe who lives further down the hall from them so it’s no big deal for him to spend a day alone. 

Continuing his trek down the bland hall of the first floor, Johnny finally comes across the door labeled ‘Laundry’ in fading brown paint. He takes the key from his stack and unlocks the door, letting himself into the room. 

When he steps inside, Johnny notices that he’s not all alone. The room isn’t very spacious, just two rows of 4 machines creating an L in the room, and at the very end of the second row filled with dryers, stands another man. Johnny can’t immediately place him, not from the back and with his entire body turned to the motion as he loads it, but he doesn’t bother with it. He can just stay in his corner, his neighbor in his own corner, and they can continue with their merry lives. 

Johnny moves to the washer closest to the door, plopping down the hamper beside him. Laundry is one thing he’s known how to do since birth, it seems, his mother always sitting him down and showing him how to properly wash clothes. So Johnny works from sheer memory as he loads the washer. 

For a couple of minutes, his universe is unbothered. He wishes he had brought his headphones, but he also doesn’t mind the sounds of the laundry room too much; the running water in the machine, the spin of the dryers, the slightly too loud music coming from the other person’s headphones. Johnny reaches for his phone when he shuts the small door of the washer with an unintended harsh slam. 

A sudden gasp breaks him from his reverie, making Johnny turn to the other person. When he looks back at them, he sees that it’s none other than Ten with one headphone dangling over his chest much like the first time they met and a hand held over the place where his heart is. “Jesus, John,” he says breathily, “scared the crap out of me.” Johnny watches the way that Ten pulls his phone from his pocket and presses something on the screen before pulling both of his headphones out. He stuffs them into his pocket until they look halfway to falling out. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Johnny says gently. He pulls a small face before saying, “Also my name’s Johnny,” the taller says gently. His neighbor looks at him with a small smile. 

Ten nods before he says, “Yeah, I know.” He doesn’t apologize, his face doesn’t speak anything more than obvious comfort and the small tug at the corner of his lips makes something pull the same in Johnny’s stomach. With his front never leaving his pointed position towards Johnny, Ten places both hands on the drier behind him before lifting himself to sit on top. From where Johnny stands, now it seems the other man is closer to his height. “So what brings you over here?” 

If Johnny thought Ten was peculiar before, well, now he thinks even more so. He can’t help the small chuckle that leaves his mouth when he thinks over the question. “Um, I’m doing laundry? This is the laundry room,” he says incredulously. He can’t help the crooked smile on his face, the curious lift of his left brow. 

“Well,  _ yeah,  _ John. I know. I’m just saying that usually Haewon joins me on her Sunday trips to the laundry room. I almost forgot you lived here I haven’t seen you in so long.” Ten shrugs one shoulder nonchalantly as he speaks. He’s still sitting on top of the drier like he has all the time in the world. 

Turning back to his washer to set the buttons as he may, Johnny props up one shoulder in a half shrug as well. “Yeah, it’s not easy moving back to a place you haven’t been in in like 6 years.” 

There’s a pause in the air between them, something that makes Johnny feel like he’s said something wrong in Ten’s presence, until the smaller man breaks it with a curious hum. “6 years, huh?” Johnny reprimands himself silently, forgetting that Ten doesn’t know him like that. 

Focusing on the tumble of his clothing in the machine behind him, Johnny nods vacantly. “Yeah, it’s been a little bit. I barely recognize it, honestly,” Johnny admits sadly. He hates how true the words are and how it occurs to him that Seoul is all he knows despite the amount of time he spent in Chicago. “I was 13 when I left so just barely conscious enough to do things by myself besides go to school.” 

Another silence befalls them until there’s a beep from the opposite side of the room. Johnny startles until he sees Ten jump up. He watches the smaller man turn to his machine and begin to unload it into the black basket he’s brought with him. Johnny assumes his load is done and with the realization, he turns and occupies himself with his phone and what little he actually can do with it. 

However, he’s not left to his own devices for long before Ten comes and stands in front of him with the basket full of laundry room items resting in between them. “You know, I am a verified Chicagoan by now if you ever need a tour guide,” Ten says with a gentle smile. His aura is so charming and easygoing as he looks into Johnny’s eyes, all of the most unknown feelings in the world filling the molten chocolate of his eyes. “You free today?” 

Johnny doesn’t know anything substantial about his neighbor besides his name, but Johnny feels weirdly comfortable with him. He  _ trusts _ Ten to be a real Chicagoan and to be the chip in the armor that even Haewon can’t be. Ten isn’t intrusive and he’s not too bad - if their very minimal conversations have suggested anything - and Johnny thinks Haewon would be proud. 

With Ten still standing in front of him expectantly, Johnny gives a simple shake of his head. “No, yeah, Haewon won’t be home until late,” he says, hoping Ten gets the hint. 

Sure enough, the smaller man nods once before beginning to walk backwards towards the door. “Finish your load off and then come to my place. We’ll get you Chicago verified in no time.” Ten makes a peace sign with his fingers in lieu of a goodbye and Johnny can barely vocalize his own  _ see you later _ before Ten is out of ear shot and Johnny is left to finish his laundry in solitude. 

**

A full, folded and cleaned laundry basket and an hour later, Johnny finds himself standing in his own bedroom. With the chill that comes over the city around this time, he opts on keeping the sweater on but replaces his ratty sweatpants for jeans instead. He looks comfortable and warm, most importantly, and he thinks it’s good enough to get out of the house with. 

Grabbing his keys, wallet, and phone, Johnny walks out into the hall. He hates the short distance between him and his neighbor considering he doesn’t have any time to stop and consider how bad an idea this is. 

When he reaches door 2D, the nerves come over him readily. A part of him knows he’s being ridiculous and that Ten  _ invited  _ him over, but another part of him also wonders if that could’ve been false. Surely, Ten has better things to do than act as a tour guide for a grown man who doesn’t recognize his childhood city. 

Before he can even knock however, the door is opened. Ten stands just behind it expectantly, fully dressed, and stares at Johnny. “How long were you going to stand out there?” he asks curiously, the now infamous lift of his eyebrow making its appearance. 

Johnny stumbles under the sudden question but he doesn’t show it, just tries to level Ten cooly with a similar look. “I was just thinking, it’s nothing.” It’s enough to convince Ten and said man just shrugs before turning back into his apartment. 

“Come in and have a seat. I’ll be out in a minute, just gotta get some stuff,” Ten says with a gesture towards the couch. Johnny can only nod faintly before moving to the spot the other has pointed to. His neighbor disappears down the hall and Johnny is left there awkwardly looking around the room. The first thing that he notices is the absolute comfort the space exudes. The walls are painted a sandy brown and the couch and corner chair compliment in in their pale yellow hue. The coffee table is black and each lamp in the room is in a black base, making it the accent color. Johnny is taken aback by the structure and the design - it’s hard to believe this apartment is just a door away from where he and Haewon live amongst constant paint fumes and easels in each corner. 

Before Johnny can take in any more of the room, Ten comes back out. He takes the other man in and looks at his all black ensemble. The color suits him well and makes him look slim in the right places, toned in the others. Johnny has to admit it’s the best he’s seen his neighbor look. There’s also another backpack slung over his bag and Johnny only has so much time to question just what the other has in mind.

However, he can’t ask before Ten straightens at the door. “Alright, are we ready to go?” Ten asks. When Johnny nods and stands, he begins to walk over to the front door where Ten is standing. The smaller man opens the door and ushers him out into the hall, Ten just behind him locking his apartment. 

The two men begin walking down the hall towards the stairs with deep silence between them. It seems neither of them really know how to work a conversation with each other, but it’s not  uncomfortable, just still and calm. 

When they get outside, Johnny has to tighten his arms around himself with the oncoming cold. He really doesn’t get out very often, especially not when it’s so late, so the change in climate is a bit surprising. He hopes Ten doesn’t notice but sure enough, the other turns to him with question in his eyes. “Are you cold?” 

Johnny shakes his head but there’s no way to get around the way his hands are freezing by his sides while he desperately tries to bunch the sleeves into his palm. Ten seems to notice just that and with a little laugh and disbelieving shake of his head, he pulls something out of his bag. “Gloves. They’re very important for the cold around here.” Johnny can’t pull them on fast enough and when his skin is finally covered, he feels the heat settle over him. 

“Thank you,” he says softly. Ten just nods at him before closing up his bag and continuing their walking. 

“For this first day, I think I know just the place I want to take you,” Ten says happily. He extends one of his hands and Johnny, with a laugh, takes his hand. 

The sun is just being to go down around the city and it casts everything in a sudden glow. It’s only around a few minutes before 6, and yet the city bustles with people and color. The setting colors reflect off the high buildings above them and Johnny just follows as Ten pulls him along. 

Rounding a corner, Johnny begins to see more lights than before. Neon purples and signs of all sorts flash, twinkling lights hanging on the doors of different shops. It all feels so familiar and as Ten pulls Johnny to the side of the street, he gets a whiff of something that feels like home. 

“Kimbap?” he asks curiously. He looks to Ten who settles him with a smile. Their hands are still clasped in each other’s and Johnny has to grin. “Where are we?”

This seems to be the question Ten’s been waiting for because the other lets him go before turning to face him. He lifts his arms up as if on a game show or something. “This is a little slice of Korea right here, made just for you.” 

Johnny remembers this neighborhood despite how much it’s changed. His mom used to bring him and Minhyung around and the three of them would go to the bakery and eat little treats before walking around the little knick knack shops. It was fun for the three of them - sometimes four if his father wasn’t busy - to throw around some Korean and to see pieces of their culture come together. 

Being there brought back so many memories he didn’t even realize he had so far deep inside. Ten came back to his side and he smiled gently while taking the other’s hand back in his. “C’mon then, let’s get you on some Korean food.” 

**

The night quickly comes and takes over, making everything in the streets cold and dark. Ten and Johnny, however, are content and warm in their spaces and as they get back to their apartment around 11 at night, Haewon happens to join them. 

“Hi Katie,” Ten says happily where Johnny gives her a close hug and kiss on the cheek. “Where were you all day?” 

“Last minute work to do, unfortunately, but it seems you guys had a little day to yourselves,” she says with joy in her tone. Johnny knows it’s pointed at him mainly. 

From beside him, Ten nods as he pulls his key from his bag. “Johnny asked me to be his verified Chicago tour guide so I took him somewhere I thought he’d really like.” 

It’s as if the two of them speak their own language from either side of Johnny as they meet eyes and Haewon laughs. She straightens up however and faces him head on while Ten opens the door. “He took you to our own little Korea, huh?” she asks but the inflection in her voice lets him know that she already knows exactly what they did. 

Johnny laughs softly and nods jerkily. “Yeah we had kimbap and went to the bakery mom used to take us to. It was really nice.” 

The door is opened with a sudden jam and Ten giggles happily as he holds it open for them. “Here you go,” he says. Haewon and Johnny walk into the building and wait for the younger to follow but he instead pulls the key back from the lock. “I have to go run an errand, but I’ll probably see you guys tomorrow. Thank you for today, Johnny, we should do it again some time!” 

They split up soon after that, Johnny and Haewon saying goodbye to Ten just before the door can separate them. And when it’s just the two of them, Haewon nudges Johnny’s arm gently. “So what do you think of Ten?” 

“Well,” he begins and brings one hand up to rub at the back of his neck. “He is definitely a character.” His words make Haewon laugh gently and nod. “But he’s very nice. I think we’ll be friends.”

Haewon nods as she takes them both up the stairs and leads them to their own apartment. “I think you will be, too, as long as he’s taking you out of the house, I definitely don’t mind.” Johnny knows she’s joking, but he still understands the sentiment clearly. He kind of hopes Ten will be back to take him out to the city on their own adventure, too. Wistfully, he quiets and thinks back on the day he’s just had with the questionable neighbor beside him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry this chapter came out so late I just lost all direction for this but I think I've finally found where I want to go. Thank you all for bearing with me, I promise I will try to get the next update out much much sooner! 
> 
> Please leave your kudos and comments :))

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://neosuh.tumblr.com/)   
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